Handy-Man

Why is it we tend to appreciate the people we love the most when they are NOT around?

OK, when I say "we" - what I really mean is, me. I have a tendency to realize how much I love someone, or miss them, or appreciate them, when they are absent. I guess it's true, "absence makes the heart grow fonder."

I recognize the greatness of my friends when I haven't had a chance to see them for a while. I miss my kids when they are at school, a friends or sleeping. I realize how much my husband does for me, and how important he is to us, when he is out of town.

Yet, for some reason, I don't always let people know how much they mean to me when they are around. I have a short fuse with my kids much more often than I should and I find that I am constantly critiquing my husband. So today, while he's out of town, I thought it might be nice to send a few compliments his way.

First of all, he is a really handy guy to have around. Our daughter has a shirt that says, "My Dad can fix anything." and it's pretty much true. If it's broken around our house, you can bet he'll find a way to fix it. BIG or small, Dad's on the job and he finds pleasure in doing it. It is a rare occasion that we hire someone to fix something in need of repair. Why should we? After all, for the most part, everything is "easy" or "simple" to fix and John can do it himself. He is pictured here mending our deck. He loves to do that sort of thing and is good at it. It requires power tools, right? enough said. :-)

One evening not long ago, we were out on our very large, rapidly decaying back deck and he listened while I talked about how it needed to be replaced and a new, different one built and pondered what the cost would be since it's such a big project. I talked about the rotting boards and dangerous steps, etc etc. I'm really good at pointing out what needs to change and complaining. But he's really good at fixing. The next day he went to the store and got some lumber and began replacing the sections of worn out wood, one plank at a time.

No big deal. Problem solved.

He even has plans for the two of us to make some improvements together. I was motivated to go out and help him, because of his willingness to jump right in and make it look so easy. I wouldn't have even known where to start. I love that John is a doer. He is not easily overwhelmed and will gladly tackle just about any project. He enjoys figuring things out, finding solutions and putting them into action. It's amazing how often he does this, and I take it for granted.

The list goes on and on...

He's not a complainer. It doesn't matter if there are mountains of laundry creeping out of the laundry room, the bathrooms are dirty or the bed hasn't been made in a week. He doesn't complain that I'm not doing my job. On the contrary, when I apologize for the mess all around us, he will almost always tell me that it's not a bid deal. The truth is, it is a big deal, and he loves it when it's all caught up, but he doesn't pressure me to be perfect. I really appreciate that.

John loves our kids and LOVES to be with them. He insists on taking the older ones to school every day, he changes diapers anytime he's home and regularly rocks Cameron and puts him to bed. He is usually the first one to jump up if they cry out during the night and the one that does cool things with them, like shooting paint ball guns in the back yard.

I love that my husband loves to cook. I don't enjoy it much and aspire to be better. He, however, loves to be in the kitchen and cooks up tasty dishes more often than I do. If he could retire and go to cooking school, he'd be happy, and now that I think about it, so would I!

My husband thinks I'm beautiful and he tells me so all the time. It cracks me up some days that he compliments me when I've just woken up or when I haven't showered for 2 days. I know what I look like, and it ain't pretty. However, for some strange reason, he has these rose colored glasses that see me as beautiful, all the time. I often laugh off his compliments and tell him he's silly. Truth be told though, it really nourishes me to know that he sees beauty in me when I can't see it in myself. He loves me for who I am and what I am, all the time.

I could certainly go on, and maybe I'll come back and add to this list, but since I just fell asleep with my computer on my lap, I'm gonna stop here for tonight. The point I wanted to make is this: It's really easy to look at the negative things in life and assume the worst. It's easy to criticise and critique, especially those who are closest to us. I do it all too often and I don't like it. So, I'm going to try to be more thankful for the love in my life, more appreciative of the joy that my loved ones add each day, because if I don't say it today, who knows if I'll get that chance tomorrow.