Handy-Man

Why is it we tend to appreciate the people we love the most when they are NOT around?

OK, when I say "we" - what I really mean is, me. I have a tendency to realize how much I love someone, or miss them, or appreciate them, when they are absent. I guess it's true, "absence makes the heart grow fonder."

I recognize the greatness of my friends when I haven't had a chance to see them for a while. I miss my kids when they are at school, a friends or sleeping. I realize how much my husband does for me, and how important he is to us, when he is out of town.

Yet, for some reason, I don't always let people know how much they mean to me when they are around. I have a short fuse with my kids much more often than I should and I find that I am constantly critiquing my husband. So today, while he's out of town, I thought it might be nice to send a few compliments his way.

First of all, he is a really handy guy to have around. Our daughter has a shirt that says, "My Dad can fix anything." and it's pretty much true. If it's broken around our house, you can bet he'll find a way to fix it. BIG or small, Dad's on the job and he finds pleasure in doing it. It is a rare occasion that we hire someone to fix something in need of repair. Why should we? After all, for the most part, everything is "easy" or "simple" to fix and John can do it himself. He is pictured here mending our deck. He loves to do that sort of thing and is good at it. It requires power tools, right? enough said. :-)

One evening not long ago, we were out on our very large, rapidly decaying back deck and he listened while I talked about how it needed to be replaced and a new, different one built and pondered what the cost would be since it's such a big project. I talked about the rotting boards and dangerous steps, etc etc. I'm really good at pointing out what needs to change and complaining. But he's really good at fixing. The next day he went to the store and got some lumber and began replacing the sections of worn out wood, one plank at a time.

No big deal. Problem solved.

He even has plans for the two of us to make some improvements together. I was motivated to go out and help him, because of his willingness to jump right in and make it look so easy. I wouldn't have even known where to start. I love that John is a doer. He is not easily overwhelmed and will gladly tackle just about any project. He enjoys figuring things out, finding solutions and putting them into action. It's amazing how often he does this, and I take it for granted.

The list goes on and on...

He's not a complainer. It doesn't matter if there are mountains of laundry creeping out of the laundry room, the bathrooms are dirty or the bed hasn't been made in a week. He doesn't complain that I'm not doing my job. On the contrary, when I apologize for the mess all around us, he will almost always tell me that it's not a bid deal. The truth is, it is a big deal, and he loves it when it's all caught up, but he doesn't pressure me to be perfect. I really appreciate that.

John loves our kids and LOVES to be with them. He insists on taking the older ones to school every day, he changes diapers anytime he's home and regularly rocks Cameron and puts him to bed. He is usually the first one to jump up if they cry out during the night and the one that does cool things with them, like shooting paint ball guns in the back yard.

I love that my husband loves to cook. I don't enjoy it much and aspire to be better. He, however, loves to be in the kitchen and cooks up tasty dishes more often than I do. If he could retire and go to cooking school, he'd be happy, and now that I think about it, so would I!

My husband thinks I'm beautiful and he tells me so all the time. It cracks me up some days that he compliments me when I've just woken up or when I haven't showered for 2 days. I know what I look like, and it ain't pretty. However, for some strange reason, he has these rose colored glasses that see me as beautiful, all the time. I often laugh off his compliments and tell him he's silly. Truth be told though, it really nourishes me to know that he sees beauty in me when I can't see it in myself. He loves me for who I am and what I am, all the time.

I could certainly go on, and maybe I'll come back and add to this list, but since I just fell asleep with my computer on my lap, I'm gonna stop here for tonight. The point I wanted to make is this: It's really easy to look at the negative things in life and assume the worst. It's easy to criticise and critique, especially those who are closest to us. I do it all too often and I don't like it. So, I'm going to try to be more thankful for the love in my life, more appreciative of the joy that my loved ones add each day, because if I don't say it today, who knows if I'll get that chance tomorrow.

I'm thankful for LAUNDRY??

Of course, this time of year we all have hearts full of Thanksgiving. It is a topic on our minds and of discussion around our homes. I am no exception. I have so very much to be thankful for. My blessings are innumerable and obvious. With the most obvious being my precious family, whom I adore.

However, sometimes we hear or see or talk to someone who brings to our attention just how grateful we should be. This can come at unexpected moments, no matter what time of year. I had one of those moments this week.

Anyone who knows me well is aware that I hate laundry. It's just not my thing. I always have a lot of it clean needing to be folded and put away. I always have a lot of it dirty needing to be washed. I always have piles to sort and hang and there is always an endless supply of socks to match. It's the job that I never seem to be done with and can't ever seem to stay ahead of. I hate laundry. I say it pretty often and think it even more often than I say it.

Well, John's parents came up for a very pleasant visit this past week. While they were here, the topic of laundry came up in conversation. (more with John than me, since it was in Spanish with his Mom.) John is one of 7 kids and he casually asked his Mom how she kept up with laundry when all her kids were small. She agreed that it was a challenge. Then she went on to explain that for most of the years that her kids were small they were in Mexico without washing machines. She literally washed her laundry on a wash board and hung it to dry. This included the diapers, which she made. Many of our parents used cloth diapers, right? Well, they didn't have money to buy cloth for diapers, so she cut up the bags that flour came in and boiled them. This made the material soft and cloth like, so that it would work well for diapers. After hearing that, I had a new respect for her and the challenges that she has overcome in her life. She worked hard to take care of my husband and his siblings, much harder than I have to work.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that I'm grateful that I have a functioning washer and dryer to assist in my laundry duties. And I'm also thankful that I can buy diapers, change them and throw them away, instead of washing, re-using and then making more myself. And I suppose I should be thankful for all the laundry we have, because it's a lot better than not having clothes at all. So today I tried to do laundry with a better attitude and it wasn't so bad. I've been enjoying the holiday break time with my kids too, so that made it even better. (they put their own stuff away! :-) I reminded myself today that with the right attitude, we can be thankful for everything in life, even things we thought we hated, like laundry.

Happy Thanksgiving!