Handy-Man

Why is it we tend to appreciate the people we love the most when they are NOT around?

OK, when I say "we" - what I really mean is, me. I have a tendency to realize how much I love someone, or miss them, or appreciate them, when they are absent. I guess it's true, "absence makes the heart grow fonder."

I recognize the greatness of my friends when I haven't had a chance to see them for a while. I miss my kids when they are at school, a friends or sleeping. I realize how much my husband does for me, and how important he is to us, when he is out of town.

Yet, for some reason, I don't always let people know how much they mean to me when they are around. I have a short fuse with my kids much more often than I should and I find that I am constantly critiquing my husband. So today, while he's out of town, I thought it might be nice to send a few compliments his way.

First of all, he is a really handy guy to have around. Our daughter has a shirt that says, "My Dad can fix anything." and it's pretty much true. If it's broken around our house, you can bet he'll find a way to fix it. BIG or small, Dad's on the job and he finds pleasure in doing it. It is a rare occasion that we hire someone to fix something in need of repair. Why should we? After all, for the most part, everything is "easy" or "simple" to fix and John can do it himself. He is pictured here mending our deck. He loves to do that sort of thing and is good at it. It requires power tools, right? enough said. :-)

One evening not long ago, we were out on our very large, rapidly decaying back deck and he listened while I talked about how it needed to be replaced and a new, different one built and pondered what the cost would be since it's such a big project. I talked about the rotting boards and dangerous steps, etc etc. I'm really good at pointing out what needs to change and complaining. But he's really good at fixing. The next day he went to the store and got some lumber and began replacing the sections of worn out wood, one plank at a time.

No big deal. Problem solved.

He even has plans for the two of us to make some improvements together. I was motivated to go out and help him, because of his willingness to jump right in and make it look so easy. I wouldn't have even known where to start. I love that John is a doer. He is not easily overwhelmed and will gladly tackle just about any project. He enjoys figuring things out, finding solutions and putting them into action. It's amazing how often he does this, and I take it for granted.

The list goes on and on...

He's not a complainer. It doesn't matter if there are mountains of laundry creeping out of the laundry room, the bathrooms are dirty or the bed hasn't been made in a week. He doesn't complain that I'm not doing my job. On the contrary, when I apologize for the mess all around us, he will almost always tell me that it's not a bid deal. The truth is, it is a big deal, and he loves it when it's all caught up, but he doesn't pressure me to be perfect. I really appreciate that.

John loves our kids and LOVES to be with them. He insists on taking the older ones to school every day, he changes diapers anytime he's home and regularly rocks Cameron and puts him to bed. He is usually the first one to jump up if they cry out during the night and the one that does cool things with them, like shooting paint ball guns in the back yard.

I love that my husband loves to cook. I don't enjoy it much and aspire to be better. He, however, loves to be in the kitchen and cooks up tasty dishes more often than I do. If he could retire and go to cooking school, he'd be happy, and now that I think about it, so would I!

My husband thinks I'm beautiful and he tells me so all the time. It cracks me up some days that he compliments me when I've just woken up or when I haven't showered for 2 days. I know what I look like, and it ain't pretty. However, for some strange reason, he has these rose colored glasses that see me as beautiful, all the time. I often laugh off his compliments and tell him he's silly. Truth be told though, it really nourishes me to know that he sees beauty in me when I can't see it in myself. He loves me for who I am and what I am, all the time.

I could certainly go on, and maybe I'll come back and add to this list, but since I just fell asleep with my computer on my lap, I'm gonna stop here for tonight. The point I wanted to make is this: It's really easy to look at the negative things in life and assume the worst. It's easy to criticise and critique, especially those who are closest to us. I do it all too often and I don't like it. So, I'm going to try to be more thankful for the love in my life, more appreciative of the joy that my loved ones add each day, because if I don't say it today, who knows if I'll get that chance tomorrow.

Gratitude

Happy 4th of July! I was having this little talk with my kids today about Independence day and what it's about. We talked about gratitude and all the blessings that we have and sometimes take for granted. We talked about our healthy bodies, free country, safe home, family that loves us, etc. It's always important to have those talks, to remind them of their blessings. Sometimes it's easier to have the talks then it is to walk the walk. . .

It's so easy to explain about the glass being 1/2 full and not 1/2 empty. I talked to them about how we should be grateful for what we have and not complain about what we don't have. It's a lot easier to talk about than it is to live. :-) We expect so much from our little kids and I realized this afternoon that it is much easier said than done. I realized this afternoon that I am guilty of not always having this attitude myself.

We get busy and irritated with the little (or big) things in life and sometimes it gets the better of us. Specifically, I feel like I do that with my husband. I can be so critical of him and expect so much, all the time. I know I am not always as encouraging and supportive as I could be. This afternoon a neighbor called to thank me for one of John's random acts of kindness and it reminded me of what a wonderful man I am married to. Our neighbor fell a few days ago while mowing his lawn. He was taken to the hospital to get checked out and ended up being there for a couple of days. Thankfully, he is home now and doing well, which is wonderful. He called a little while ago to express his gratitude to my husband for finishing the lawn mowing that he had started when he got hurt. He really appreciated it and wanted to thank us. John isn't home and I told him I'd relay the message. I hung up and thought about how often John performs these kind acts, usually unbeknownst to me or anyone else. It hadn't even crossed my mind to go moe w their lawn. But John went right out and did it first thing, without being asked or talking about it. He does these types of things all the time. He doesn't tell me he's going to do it. He doesn't tell people after he does it. I often don't know unless I find out in other ways. He doesn't do it to be praised. He just sees needs and tries to fill them with kind acts. I am grateful for his example of kindness and selfless service and I thought it was worthy of a post. I guess I should probably tell him too. So, I'll make a point to do that when he gets home. :-)